Questioned! by Hi-z

Mike D. of "I Can Lick Any Son Of a Bitch in the House"

1: What makes you so special?
Mike D: Got a huge pecker, round as a coke can.

2: How long has your band been around?
Almost 3 years, new configuration: 2 & 1/2 years.

3: What does your tour schedule consist of?
September 23rd - October 26th – East coast, South and Midwest.

4: Favorite pre-show pastime?
Chain smoking and drinking an hour before.

5: Are your lyrics about Elves, Dwarves, and wizards and shit…you know like Dungeons and Dragons?
Absolutely, like Dio and shit.

6: Don’t you think being a 7th level Elf Master would make you rock a little harder?
Mike D: Yeah, cause you’d be smaller… no wait, you’d be fucked. The guitar would be too heavy.

7: Have you ever sniffed glue before a show?
Not before a show, but when I was in the army, we used to soak our socks in shoe polish, put ‘em in a plastic bag and sniff them.

8: How many records do you have out?
Three in three years.

9: Why have you gone solo?
I haven’t. I just like to keep working, touring, selling merch.

10: Was it because of artistic differences?
No, I write all the songs.

11: I knew this guy who would build a fort in the back of the van so he could go number 3. Ever had to do that?
No, too much stress on the road, and I’m on the downhill side of getting laid. No boners in the van

13: Almond Joy or Mounds?
Both are nasty. Three Musketeers

14: Do you have any recording plans?
I’m in the process of a solo record.

15: Any Christmas albums n the mix?
Christmas sucks. It’s a sick thing.

16: What does your tour diet consist of?
Fast Food, whiskey and beers.

17: I like the Cup O Noodles, have you tried the Cajun shrimp?
Groceries go bad in the van.

18: Can you lick any son of a bitch in this joint?
No, I’m a pussy. When I get scared, I take Xanax

19: Have any upcoming shows in Portland?
November 4th with the Shams, at Dante’s

20: Tell the truth about why you rock. Is it the bitches or the cake?
It’s about finding the one guy that can relate to my songs. No cake, no bitches.

21: I heard your band was doing the Frito-lay NASCAR summer Slam Jam this year, is this true?
Maybe, if I get to drive.

22: Did you take karate at the YMCA?
When I went to the gym, I got knocked out by the weights.